Antique shopping in Denham Springs last weekend. I returned with the following:

1. Two elephant figurines, ebony-carved, small as fists. In both shade and light they have a dense, buffed glow, like wood from a goblin's forest. And there are chips of ivory for the tusks and toenails and round little eyes.

2. A paperweight. This was a bit of an impulse buy, but a pretty object, nonetheless. A moss of colored glass covers the bottom, and little bubbles rise from it like mushrooms.

3. An Indonesian mask. Flat and solemn-eyed, with a puckish mouth.

4. And last, but most certainly not least . . .

A TAXIDERMY SQUIRREL.

Best $30 I've spent in a long time.

TAXIDERMY SQUIRREL!!

He's in the kitchen now, standing guard over the sugar. One might say he looks calm. Passive, even. But don't let the glassy stare and sawdust innards fool you. Cross Mr. Squibbs once -- just once -- and he will tear out your throat.

EDIT: I completely forgot to mention the wind-up monkey! No matter, though -- photos of all items are forthcoming.